:: Our parents friends

Since forever, the elder generations of family members will be worried of who the young uns in the family befriends. Parents are concerned of who makes up their childrens cliques and some, wise enough to make it a point to ask their names, where they live, what sort of family they are, etc.

The same should be done by their children. Us.

We should know who the friends of our parents are because like any other human being, they are susceptible to deceit and unfavourable influences. Remember, a childhood buddy who steals other childrens school lunch money can still grow up to be an adulthood buddy who will scam you into investing your money in a ‘Get Rich Quick Scheme’ or something.  

Old age does not guarantee wisdom regardless of the decades of life experiences he/she encounters. What if he/she spends his 40/50 years loitering about, taking drugs, womanizing chicks only to repent for the last 3-4 hours we met him/her? In jail? For as long as the 3 Ta exists, one is open to negative forces in life - HarTa, TakhTa, WaniTa.

Screen your parents friends whenever possible. If they come over to the house for tea, after salam, do ask questions like ‘Nama aunty/uncle nih sapa ya’ while offering them the sweetest, sickly and humble smile you could manage. If possible, know what sort of transportation they use, where they live or work,  or where their family members are contactable - the son/daughter at which school, tuition centres, the shops/wet market their maids frequent (OKeh..nih dah bzbodi tahap cipan.. muahaha.. gaya loanshark pun ada). One other thing that you must also consider is their status - Single? Married ? Divorced? I mean, just imagine this.. your mother is married and has a husband at home, if she were to go out and have fun with single ladies with no marital responsibilities, just how many of those single ladies would be kind enough to remind her and themselves that its already late and they should go home? Tengoklah drama melayu and you’ll hear a script that goes like this, “Alah..sekali sekala enjoy..apa salahnya. Biar laki kau rindu kau sikit. Takkanlah dia sorang jer nak enjoy kan”. Or imagine this, your father is hanging out with filthy rich lads, he might want a material possession beyond his affordability. That would be a ‘boys with his toys’ sort of dilemma plak, kan.

 

A change in childrens behaviour towards something aggressive or laziness is one of the prime reasons as to why a parent would worry about their childrens friends influences. When do we start to worry about our parents being pulled over to the dark side? One indication would be when they start to neglect their responsibilities. A lesser degree to their children (yet still happens) but most evident towards their partner. Worse comes to worse, if you are in a position* to question your parents friends, do so. In a polite and respectable manner, that is. Janganlah pergi depan gate rumah dan jerit2 kan.. that would be dumb on your side. *An example of that ‘position’ would be you being in your twenties, have your own car and a master in the language of interrogation.

Having friends from all walk of life is .. like Martha Stewart likes to say, ” A Good Thing”. Just be careful. Bad buddies are here to stay until we die.

PS : To all parents who are reading this, we children are doing this because we love you.

~ by Minci on February 17, 2008.