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:: Ode to the Nice Guys :: July 14, 2007

Posted by Minci 先生 in Love and Relationship.
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A dear friend asked me, “Is it bad to be a good guy?”

My dear friend.. NO.. it is not bad. I dedicate this Ode to you and all the nice guys in the world. Finally to M***, thanks for being my Nice Guy.

Source : http://www.stwing.upenn.edu/~jenf/writing/rant04.html

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

 

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

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Comments»

1. D - July 14, 2007

not easy to find nice guys, but there are those rare few out there…

2. Danial - July 15, 2007

reminds me of my friend, nice guy he is, always der for dis one girl but god how i wish i can smack that girl for always using him.. 😡

3. jet - July 15, 2007

yeh, find me that nice guy who finishes last and kenenkan him with me, who also happens to finish last..minci..go! now!

4. Puteri Nad :-) - July 15, 2007

hahhaha
but why girls love bad guys?

5. shutterspeaks - July 15, 2007

sorry dude, those rare few are all taken.

6. kaSyah - July 15, 2007

ya..ya..if i a nice guy, i wont say that i am a nice guy.

it’s not cool n i know girl not like a very ‘skema’ guy.

anyway..if it ‘if’ .

i would not consider i am a nice guy. but i know i more better than hypocrite ‘nice’ guy.

be good is good, be too good is ungood.

7. Syafrizal - July 15, 2007

I remember a song from Green Day “Nice Guys Finish Last”. Well I’ve asked the same question to Minci and it bothers me to see why girls like a social guy? Drinking, clubbing and ehemm ehemm all that stuff. Is it a must criteria for a guy?

I love this article and I want to dedicated to myself hehe

8.   Tribute to nice guys — My Journey Into Life - July 15, 2007

[…] seen this article on Minci’s blog and Kai’s Weblog but the original one you can read it here. I want to dedicate this article […]

9. Minci - July 15, 2007

I think nice guys are underrated, they’re not as rare as girls thought they are. We just happen to look them at wrong places AND sometimes have irrational expectations of how we want these nice guys to be.. 🙂

D,
I bet you’ve taken one of em.

Danial,
hmmm.. it wud be interesting to see what the girl really thinks she’s doing. if she’s really that manipulative or just blurr.

Jet,
ahh.. tk nk aku kenenkan… nanti ‘sejarah mungkin berulang’ (nyanyi ala2 tomok pliss)

shutterspeaks,
uhuk uhuk.. referring to urself kah 😛

Kasyah,
Ko nih aku masuk kategori ‘middle guy’.. yakni kategori lelaki idaman Nad.. matilah aku kena ketuk nanti 😆

syafrizal,
a double dedication then, for I meant to post it up for you too – as one of the nice guys on the planet.

10. Syafrizal - July 15, 2007

Yeah, one of the nice guys that always get dumped and met a lot of bitches along the way.

11. Danial - July 16, 2007

Mak carikan je lah..=P

12. nautilusiv - July 16, 2007

Kui kui kui… no comments. Sebagai komen last, kan Nice Guys Finish Last? :mrgreen:

13. Mat Bangkai - July 16, 2007

Nice guys don’t only finish last, they get kicked in the teeth during the process as well. Morale of the story: Become a Neanderthal, girls will start falling at your feet. They actually do! Hey, I tried it!

But then I got tired of being a Neanderthal. Now I am back to finishing last and getting my teeth kicked-in. Again…

14. armand defrank - July 24, 2007

this should be the the nice guy’s declaration and constition rolled into one

15. Matt Savage - August 1, 2007

Ughh, no. The original article is good and describes the typical Nice Guy to perfection, however, the real problem I have with it is that it encourages this spineless behavior. There’s a reason why women aren’t interested in these guys, because it is not the correct way to attract women. I’m not saying it’s bad to be nice, just that if guys want any success with women at all then they need to stop being such wussies. I actually just wrote a much larger rant on the whole subject here.

I’d be curious of your opinion on the topic.


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