:: After 5 weeks October 11, 2009Posted by Minci 先生 in Everyday Life, Love and Relationship.
5 weeks since my last update. Some think i update my entries secretly, only to be revealed by passwords. Truth is, there never was.
5 weeks was enough time to evaluate the happenings in my life. When you’re not hyped about drafting your next entry, you become more alert and receptive of your surroundings. When you cant translate your thoughts onto Word, you pour them out to other individuals in your daily life. You gain insight from people that you’ve never imagined you would. You see the strength and beauty in some of your friends …. It was a time to just get acquainted and in touch with the people around me.
during these 5 weeks, Im also dealing with Losses. Ever been in a situation when you know that the person that you sayang will leave you one day? This is not a matter of IF. Its a SURE thing. You know it will happen with time. Well.. it hurts.
*I spotted this clip on a friends profile and felt that it was so relevant*
But sadder still, you refuse to let go early and choose to linger and wait until the moment comes. Terlanjur sayang kan. Hoping that, maybe he doesnt have to leave. That maybe he’ll change his mind. That maybe he’ll see you in a more precious light. Until then, you fool yourself into thinking that you enjoy being his companion although you hope that you could be more.
Its a haunting feeling day and night. You’re just left there to wonder if its going to be today, tomorrow or the next week. The day when he just stops calling you, stops texting you, stop being interested in you. Just an abrupt stop. Without a word. And you would know that when it finally happens, you wouldnt fight for the relationship coz really.. was there a relationship in the first place? It was mutual companionship. Not?
The agony doesnt stop there as you then begin to wonder if is it because he’s back with his old flame, a new girl in the picture et cetera…
Then you’ll be thinking of how you would want to react. sad. relaxed. angry. after all, this was an experience that you brought onto yourself. and with every moment, theres wither something nice or ugly to take away.
I’ve always wondered why some women subject themselves to being in relationships that gives them less gain but more pain. I guess in my case, it is Gods way of wanting me to travel and see the different places in the world. By making me meet wrong men.