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:: After 5 weeks October 11, 2009

Posted by Minci 先生 in Everyday Life, Love and Relationship.
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5 weeks since my last update. Some think i update my entries secretly, only to be revealed by passwords. Truth is, there never was.

5 weeks was enough time to evaluate the happenings in my life. When you’re not hyped about drafting your next entry, you become more alert and receptive of your surroundings. When you cant translate your thoughts onto Word, you pour them out to other individuals in your daily life. You gain insight from people that you’ve never imagined you would. You see the strength and beauty in some of your friends …. It was a time to just get acquainted and in touch with the people around me.

BUT

during these 5 weeks, Im also dealing with Losses. Ever been in a situation when you know that the person that you sayang will leave you one day? This is not a matter of IF. Its a SURE thing. You know it will happen with time. Well.. it hurts.

*I spotted this clip on a friends profile and felt that it was so relevant*

But sadder still, you refuse to let go early and choose to linger and wait until the moment comes. Terlanjur sayang kan.  Hoping that, maybe he doesnt have to leave. That maybe he’ll change his mind. That maybe he’ll see you in a more precious light. Until then, you fool yourself into thinking that you enjoy being his companion although you hope that you could be more.

Its a haunting feeling day and night. You’re just left there to wonder if its going to be today, tomorrow or the next week. The day when he just stops calling you, stops texting you, stop being interested in you. Just an abrupt stop. Without a word. And you would know that when it finally happens, you wouldnt fight for the relationship coz really.. was there a relationship in the first place? It was mutual companionship. Not?

The agony doesnt stop there as you then begin to wonder if is it because he’s back with his old flame, a new girl in the picture et cetera…

Then  you’ll be thinking of how you would want to react. sad. relaxed. angry. after all, this was an experience that you brought onto yourself. and with every moment, theres wither something nice or ugly to take away.

I’ve always wondered why some women subject themselves to being in relationships that gives them less gain but more pain. I guess in my case,  it is Gods way of wanting me to travel and see the different places in the world. By making me meet wrong men.

Sigh.

 

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Comments»

1. 13may - October 11, 2009

aritu takleh masuk blog nih…private

2. shank - October 11, 2009

nande?…doshtano minci chan..??

sabar la wahai insan kenit…maybe orang yang ko cari bukan dia..masih di luar sana…mungkin akan ketemu jua satu hari nanti..

gambatte kudasai!!!

3. Minci 先生 - October 11, 2009

13may,
biasalah.. blog pun ada hormonal changes.. ha ha

shank,
impending emotional collapse…
blom lagi.. 😛

4. bzz - October 12, 2009

Insya-Allah, oneday, akan datang yg terbaik… untukmu…

5. Adiratna - October 12, 2009

Salam,
Lama dah tak jenguk sini.. Hari ni tergerak nak buka.
I am in that ‘mode’ nowadays. Sometimes, from my point of view, it is not that you lost interest when you are speechless, smsless dan bermacam less lagi. Persekitaran semasa turut memainkan peranan. …akan bersambung..

6. Minci 先生 - October 13, 2009

bzz,
yah.gitulah hendak ku.

adiratna,
bagusnya gerakan hati. ha ha. sila sambung. aku kures.

7. marisa - October 13, 2009

chill, once u step into A&E, bole cuci mata puas2 wif all these young good looking MAs..

8. ieza - October 16, 2009

paling suka this entry, bcoz ada kesamaan dengan what is going on with me right now. 🙂

fr
the one yg pernah mintak lagu ctnurhaliza version minci. 😀

9. zeda - October 20, 2009

dear minci,
let him go first.u will find love somewhere else..or if he come back.he is yours then.meanwhile,find your own happiness.this used to happen to me too.once n it hurts a lot.but then,it healed with time.

10. Minci 先生 - October 20, 2009

i wish to fight for this one…acececece..

zeda - October 23, 2009

erm..fight dolu la then..kalo bjaye..orait..kalo x, jgn down..at least dah try your best nk selamtkan keadaan kan..btol2..u go girl!=p

11. Adiratna - October 21, 2009

…sambungan

Kadang-kadang, persekitaran luaran mengundang 1001 masalah dan perkara yang merunsingkan. Masalah kerja, masalah tak keja, masalah tak dapat keje, misalnya. But for men, if they are successful in career ( baca cukup duit ), they will tend to love more. NOt as in lady, if they have found their love and loved back, they will have their career shining. Betul ke? Aku dah lupa apa aku nak tulis ari tu… hahahahah 🙂

12. cikgureza - October 26, 2009

My friend once told me, “If you really love her, you’ve gotta set her free”. And if she returns in time, i’ll know she’s mine.. but tell me where do i start, coz it’s breakin’ my heart, dont wanna let her go…
Maybe my love will come back some day, only heaven knows..

-huhu, naah,it wasnt my friend, just a song from rick price- Heaven Knows

13. mariakamalmilatu - November 12, 2009

Hi minci
I’ve read a few of your blogs. I like it.
I think at times they sound similar to mine.
I would be nice to get to know you better.
🙂

mariakamalmilatu.wordpress.com

Minci 先生 - November 14, 2009

hi maria,
nice to meet you.. reading ur blog, i believe we are in the same line of work.. ha ha
it shud be interesting to be able to meet u once day..

14. mariakamalmilatu - November 12, 2009

It would be nice…
Spelling error.


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